The Death of Me

When I say the death of me, I mean the death of the things I chose to attach to myself that meant me no good. You know, the things that brought me pleasure. That’s right, I am in the process of dying to myself. At first it fine. I got past the first few weeks with no problem because I knew those things (people, food, etc) I eliminated out of my life was not the best for me. As time progress then my body is starting to go through withdrawals because that thing I was use to doing or the person I was use to talking to or being with I chose to eliminate out of my life. I’m hungry for food, I’m hungry for him, I’m hungry………well you get the point. It’s funny how the things that are good for us we don’t always like the way it taste or even feel. You see when you decide to do things God’s way may not always feel good because I have been use to fulfilling the flesh. God’s way will not always feel good, heck, most of the time it does not but it is good for us. In this thing called life we have to grow up. With growing up there is a weaning process, and if anyone knows how it is weaning a baby from whatever (breast, pacifier, bottle, etc) that sooths them is not an easy task. They are ok with it at first until that moment hits and they realize they don’t have it. Then they get antsy, then agitated, irritable, and then kick and scream. It’s funny because even as adults we get hooked on what feels good to use but most of the time it may not be good for us depending on what it is. Sometimes we as adults are not grown up in certain areas. Sometimes, we hold on to what we know is no good for us. I am writing because I am going through the death of “Me”. I am finally dying to myself, and it does not feel good at times. Doing things that are not productive to my life I’ve decided to let go and give it ALL to God. I know God will sustain me if I just put my total trust in Him, no matter what it feels like. I must keep pushing because I know there is something greater in this, in what I’ve decided to give up and let go of. I know I may weep for a few days, but joy will come in the morning. Those things that only brought me temporary happiness will be replaced with things that will be added to the joy I have as I make better choices for myself. I am finally facing myself, enjoying myself, listening to myself, dealing with myself, stripping myself, pour into myself and loving myself. When you are tired of doing the same things over and over and expecting different results…….well you know, it’s insanity. I’m dying you guys, only so I can live-Real Talk!